FREE LIVE MASTERCLASS
How to Stop Saying 'Yes' When You Mean 'No'
Without the guilt spiral after. The one coaching skill that ends 20 years of people-pleasing, and works on every other area of your life.Â
Live on Zoom | Monday, August 17th |Â 10 am Pacific Time | Replay available
I'll guide you through a 90-second exercise on a specific area of your own life that shows you exactly how to say no without the two-day guilt spiral afterward.
A Note From Charlotte...
The 'yes' you're still carrying.
Think about the last time you said 'yes' when you wished you'd said 'no.'
Maybe it was a customer asking to pick up on a Sunday, your only day off.
Or your mother-in-law, asking if you'd host Christmas.
Your boss, asking if you could take on one more thing.
The church, asking you to take on a big project because “no one else can do it.”
Your teenager, asking if her friend could sleep over on a night you'd planned to be alone.
And how about those unspoken 'yeses' - that you're just expected to handle dinner AND the laundry AND the pick up - because you're just better at all of it.
Whatever it is, you know exactly which 'yes' I mean. Because you've been carrying it ever since.
The tightness in your shoulders. The slow build of resentment. The story that started running in your head the second the word 'yes' came out of your mouth.
"Why do I always do this? Why can't I just say no? What is wrong with me?"
Nothing is wrong with you.
You're following a predictable pattern with a name. It's called people-pleasing. And in the 60 minutes we'll spend together, I'll teach you the one coaching skill that stops it.Â
And if part of you is afraid that saying no makes you selfish, hear me: every 'yes' you don't mean is a 'yes' at someone's expense. Usually yours. Sometimes the people you love most. Learning to say no isn't taking from anyone. It's giving yourself back to the people you actually want to give it to.
All my love,
Charlotte đź’›
I've been a certified life coach for 26 years, and a student of this work for nearly 30. I didn't learn these skills to teach them. I learned them because I needed them, back when I said 'yes' every time I meant no, and it was making me sick.Â
As a wife, mom of three, and a farmer, I still get coached every week, not because I'm broken, but because I'm human. That's what I want to hand you.
WHAT YOU'LL WALK AWAY WITH:
đź’ĄIn our hour together, you'll learn:
- Why saying no is so hard for youÂ
The specific thought pattern running underneath every reactive 'yes.' Once you can see it, you can never unsee it. This is not willpower. This is not a personality flaw. It's a coaching skill you were never taught.
- A live 90-second exercise you'll do with me
I'll guide you through three steps that show you, in your body, how a different thought creates a different feeling and a different action. This is the coaching skill working in real time.
- The target-feeling menu
Seven feelings that let you say no without the guilt spiral, and the specific thoughts that create each one. You'll leave with a tool you can use on every request that comes in for the rest of your life.
- Why this same skill works in every other area of your lifeÂ
 Your marriage. Your money. Your body. Your grief. Your self-talk. The 3 am spiral. Everything downstream of the same pattern people-pleasing lives in. Learn the skill once, use it everywhere and feel better, lighter, confident.
Same skill. Three different lives.
One woman used it on people-pleasing. One on grief. One on money. Same skill, three different doors.
"The people-pleasing has stopped about 80%. I stopped managing everyone's emotions, and my husband and I tackle problems as a team now instead of butting heads."
~Janice, freelancer and mom
"The day before my son's surgery, I was hiding to cry and telling myself to push through and work anyway. This skill gave me permission to be a person that week, without the guilt."
~Julie, farmer and mom
"I was terrified to raise my prices, certain my customers would leave. I raised my pork 50% and my beef over 70%. They didn't even question it."
~Erin, meat farmer
This class is for you if:Â
- You say yes when you mean no, then carry resentment.
- You rehearse how to word things so no one's upset, and your own needs get ignored.
- You do everything for everyone, then feel selfish the moment you do one thing for yourself.
- You read the faces, the moods, the whole room, worn out from keeping everyone else okay.
- You look successful on the outside, yet you still feel like you're not enough.Â
You're not broken, and you're not too much. You were handed a set of rules and never taught the one skill that frees you from them. That's what this hour is for.
Frequently Asked Questions
It is. This is a free live class. There's nothing you need to buy to attend or to do the exercise with me.
One thing: a recent moment when you said yes and meant no. Bring that person and that request to mind, and something to write with. That's all.
No. You can keep your camera off and stay muted the whole time. The 90-second exercise happens in your own body, on a person only you need to know about. You'll never be put on the spot.
About an hour - 45 minutes for the teaching and the exercise, plus live Q&A after for anyone who wants to stay.
Yes. Sign up and you'll get the replay sent to your inbox. You'll get the most out of it live, since you can do the exercise in real time, but the replay is yours either way.
Bring the yes you've been carrying.
Live on Zoom, Monday, August 17th at 10 am Pacific.
You'll leave with one skill you'll use for the rest of your life. You're right on time.